Find your power dynamic — what D/s structure fits you?

Role — Dominant, submissive, switch — is one dimension of a power dynamic. The structure of how that role is expressed is another, and it matters enormously for compatibility. A submissive who wants 24/7 total power exchange and a submissive who wants scene-only casual play share the same role label but are looking for completely different things.

This quiz helps you identify which structure of power exchange actually fits what you want — and what to look for in a compatible partner.

Work through each question and choose the answer that feels most true — go with your gut rather than what you think you should answer. Note your choices as you go, then scroll down for your results.

Question 1: How much of your life do you want kink and power exchange to touch?

A. Just specific scenes — contained, defined encounters with clear beginnings and ends.
B. A relationship that includes kink — ongoing connection with someone where the dynamic is present but not all-consuming.
C. A lifestyle — power exchange that extends into daily life, with protocols, expectations, and ongoing structure.

Question 2: How important is formality — titles, protocols, rituals — to your ideal dynamic?

A. Not at all — informality and spontaneity are more appealing than structure.
B. Somewhat — some structure adds to the dynamic without needing to be rigidly formal.
C. Very — the formality is part of what makes the dynamic real and meaningful to you.

Question 3: How do you want the power exchange to operate day to day?

A. It does not — kink is a specific activity, not something that operates between encounters.
B. Lightly — a sense of the dynamic is present in how you relate, but it is not structured with rules.
C. Explicitly — there are rules, check-ins, tasks, or expectations that operate continuously.

Question 4: How do you feel about kink and an ongoing relationship with the same person?

A. Separate ideally — you would rather keep kink as a specific activity and relationships as something else.
B. Open — you are interested in connection that includes kink, but you are not looking to merge them completely.
C. Together — the ideal for you is a relationship in which the dynamic is genuinely integrated.

Question 5: How do you think about the person you do kink with?

A. As a scene partner — someone you connect with specifically for kink encounters.
B. As someone you genuinely know and care about — the connection exists beyond the kink.
C. As a Dominant or submissive — someone with whom you are in a defined D/s relationship that shapes how you relate.

Question 6: What level of intensity and investment are you ready for?

A. Low to moderate — you want experiences without heavy emotional investment or ongoing obligation.
B. Moderate — you are open to real connection and some ongoing dynamic without it being all-encompassing.
C. High — you are ready for a dynamic that requires real investment, real trust, and real ongoing commitment.

Question 7: How do you feel about negotiating detailed agreements — limits, expectations, dynamic structure?

A. Lightly — you prefer to keep things simple and navigate as you go.
B. Proportionately — you negotiate thoroughly for what you are building without over-engineering it.
C. Comprehensively — you want everything understood and agreed, potentially including a written dynamic agreement.

Question 8: What is the primary thing you are looking for right now?

A. Experiences — specific encounters with compatible partners, without commitment beyond the encounter itself.
B. Connection — a real relationship that includes a genuine kink dynamic.
C. Structure — a defined, ongoing power exchange relationship with clear roles, expectations, and continuity.

Your results

Count up your answers and find your result below.

Mostly A — Scene-based dynamic

You are drawn to kink as a specific activity rather than a lifestyle — contained scenes with compatible partners, without the expectation of ongoing structure or relationship commitment. This is a completely valid and common approach, and it requires its own kind of care: good negotiation, honest communication about what each encounter is, and genuine aftercare within the scene. Read our guide to casual BDSM dating and pre-scene negotiation, and find scene-compatible partners on Kink Connex.

Mostly B — Relationship-integrated dynamic

You want kink as part of a genuine ongoing connection — someone you know, care about, and build a dynamic with over time, without it necessarily being a full 24/7 lifestyle arrangement. This is probably the most common D/s relationship structure: real, invested, ongoing, with the dynamic present in how you relate without dominating every dimension of life. Read our guide to understanding power exchange and serious kink dating, and find compatible partners on Kink Connex.

Mostly C — Structured or 24/7 dynamic

You are drawn to a highly structured, continuous power exchange — protocols, rules, ongoing expectations, and a D/s dynamic that operates as a genuine lifestyle rather than a scene-based activity. This requires deep trust, comprehensive negotiation, and a partner with the same level of investment. It is the most demanding structure and the most rewarding for the people who genuinely want it. Read our guides to BDSM contracts, understanding power exchange, and serious kink dating. Find genuinely invested partners on Kink Connex.

What next?