Which BDSM role fits you?

Dominant, submissive, switch. Three orientations, each with its own character, its own specific pleasures, and its own way of relating to power exchange. Most people have an instinct about which direction they lean. This quiz helps you examine that instinct more closely — surfacing the patterns in your desires and responses that point toward which role actually fits.

Answer honestly rather than aspirationally. The most useful result reflects who you actually are, not who you think you should be.

Work through each question and choose the answer that feels most true — go with your gut rather than what you think you should answer. Note your choices as you go, then scroll down for your results.

Question 1: When you imagine the most satisfying kink scenario, who is directing the experience?

A. You are — you have a clear sense of what you want to happen and you steer it there.
B. It shifts — sometimes you direct, sometimes you follow, and you find genuine appeal in both.
C. The other person is — you want to be in the hands of someone who knows what to do.

Question 2: How do you relate to making decisions in situations where someone else is affected?

A. You step into it naturally — decision-making feels like your territory.
B. You can do either depending on what is needed — you do not have a fixed position.
C. You would rather someone else held it — being relieved of decision-making is actually appealing.

Question 3: What does genuine vulnerability feel like to you?

A. Uncomfortable — you are more at ease when you are the one holding the space.
B. Complicated — you can sit in vulnerability with the right person, but you can also hold space for others.
C. Powerful — being genuinely vulnerable with someone you trust is where you feel most alive.

Question 4: What is your relationship with rules and protocols in a dynamic context?

A. You set them — creating structure and holding someone to it is something you find genuinely satisfying.
B. You can do either — you have set rules and followed them and found appeal in both.
C. You follow them — having clear rules from someone you respect feels right and actually calming.

Question 5: When something goes wrong during an intense experience, what is your instinct?

A. Take charge immediately — assess, respond, manage the situation.
B. It depends on your role in that moment — you adapt.
C. Look to the person leading — your instinct is to trust their response.

Question 6: Which of these gives you the strongest pull?

A. Watching someone trust you completely with their experience and knowing you are meeting that trust.
B. The aliveness of being in a genuinely charged dynamic, whichever side of it you are on.
C. The specific relief of handing over control to someone who holds it well.

Question 7: How do you feel about responsibility in an intimate context?

A. You carry it naturally — looking after someone else is part of how you engage.
B. You share it — responsibility is something that moves between you depending on the dynamic.
C. You prefer not to carry it in kink contexts — the removal of responsibility is part of the appeal.

Question 8: Thinking about past dynamics or fantasies, which pattern appears most consistently?

A. Leading, directing, being the one who shapes what happens.
B. Moving between both — no consistent fixed position.
C. Following, receiving, being shaped by someone else's direction.

Your results

Count up your answers and find your result below.

Mostly A — Dominant

Your answers consistently point toward a Dominant orientation. You are drawn to leading, to holding authority, to the specific satisfaction of someone trusting you with their experience and meeting that trust well. Genuine Dominance is attentive, responsible, and demanding — it requires reading your partner continuously and adjusting accordingly. It is not about ego; it is about genuine care expressed through control. Read our guide to what a Dominant is, explore our Dominant traits guides, and find a submissive on Kink Connex who is looking for what you bring.

Mostly B — Switch

Your answers do not settle clearly on one side — because both hold genuine appeal. That is switch orientation: not indecision, but genuine dual capacity. You can lead with real authority and yield with real surrender, often depending on the partner, the context, or simply the chemistry in the room. Switches bring something neither fixed-role Dominant nor fixed-role submissive can — the genuine understanding of both positions. Read our guide to what a switch is and find switch-compatible partners on Kink Connex.

Mostly C — Submissive

Your answers consistently point toward a submissive orientation. You are drawn to yielding, to following someone who leads well, to the specific intimacy of genuine trust. Submission is not weakness or passivity — it requires self-knowledge, communication, the courage to be genuinely vulnerable, and the strength to use your safe word when you need it. It is one of the most powerful positions in a dynamic. Read our guide to what a submissive is and find a Dominant on Kink Connex who is worth giving yourself over to.

What next?